As I stand in my bathroom in mid routine of applying my makeup and doing my hair, I thought to myself, 'makeup is a lot like sex'... Here is what I mean by that.
Obviously, in many many ways the two have absolutely nothing alike, but just think about it. Ladies, makeup can be something we have the power to choose. Wear a lot, keep it natural, be spontaneous or try something new, keep it simple or the same old. Now, use all of those assumptions and apply it to having sex... Choose to spice things up, have a quickie, have long and played out sex, even include foreplay.
I must have your attention by now.
Imagine foreplay is like a primer. A step in both situations that can make all the difference. Stay with me here. We apply a primer to allow our makeup to last longer. To smooth out fine lines. To create a canvas for all other products. Foreplay is a base, it is the first step to all other positions, a chance to warm up for all the rest to come. No pun intended. It allows the process to last longer, and can even make it overall "better". Depending on which primer you use, or which partner you choose. Both very important decisions.
Finding a great foundation can feel just as good as picking the right partner. A foundation that blends well with your skin, matches the tone perfectly, and smooths out all the imperfections can be the greatest find in a woman's life. Discovering a man that can be just as smooth, and compatible with you will make for one fucking great sex life. No pun intended.
Just as you can experiment with sex, you can try out different looks, colors, styles and trends with your makeup. If you aren't afraid of coming out of your comfort zone, your options are endless. Take that black eye liner and darken the crap out of your eyes...don't like it, wash it off. Pull out a whip from under the bed...not into that, try something else ;)
I get a little carried away at trying new things...for makeup I mean. Ya, makeup. With both sex and makeup you can easily figure out what you like and don't like. Which styles you prefer, and which ones you'd like to try. Go bold, or suttle. Try props or add some romance. Why have we not compared makeup and sex before? If I am feeling sexy I will make sure to bring out the red lipstick. Feeling fun and flirty, then I gravitate towards the pinks. Not feeling so hot, out come the sweatpants and hair bands. Sorry guys, hair bands are like a giant lock on the gate to sex.
As easy as it is to compare the wonderful things about sex and makeup, they each come with their own downfalls. What doesn't... If you do not have any makeup or sex downfalls, I kind of hate you right now.
Who the hell wants to wake up extra early for work to put on makeup and do your hair?! Who would rather wake up a little early to have some morning sex instead. Just as shitty as it is having to remember to wash your face before bed reminds me a lot of the fact that us women have to ensure we pee after sex. He rolls over and goes to bed, we can't or we risk the chance of getting a UTI. Mother fucker.
The lazy makeup days are quite similar to the lazy sex days. We call this missionary. Some call it star-fish. Same difference. Now lazy makeup can look natural, beautiful and effortless. The sex is just effortless, and will definitely need to be made up for the next time around. We can get away with a messy bun and some moisturizer and mascara if we want to. I guess we can also get away with "straight to the point" sex as well. Get in, get out, done. This pun was totally intended.
There are always those days that we could spend hours in the bathroom trying to get ready and never be satisfied with the overall look.... do I really need to explain the similarity this has to sex....
Or the days when it just all works perfectly. Glowing skin, nailed the winged liner, found the hottest color for your lips. We may all wish that this happened everytime in the bedroom as well. Life just isn't perfect though, so we can't have it all. If you do, you're a lucky bitch. Please know this.
Just as we may regret fashion or makeup choices we've made in the past, the 80's blue eyeshadow perhaps, there might just be a name (or two) on your list of former lovers that you'd like to erase. As in makeup, we can only LEARN from our mistakes and try our hardest not to make them again. Live, love, learn. This completely applies to makeup and sex....doesn't it?! If not, I have been fooled.
I giggle to myself while writing this, as I assume all others think just as I do. If you didn't before, you may now. The best and worst things about makeup can certainly be applied to the best and worst things about sex. Pressure in the bedroom and the pressure of a makeup artist with a client is different yet the same. The confidence you get from a great makeover could result in one of the best nights of sex you've ever had. When you feel beautiful it gives you the boost you may have needed to be extra experimental. FYI guys, this is why women melt when you compliment them. Give us a reason to make crazy love. It is simple, we just want to be called pretty and be pampered a little. If you were to buy us makeup, or even a giftcard for makeup, you may be living in the bedroom for the next two days. Hell, we may even take it to the next level and jump in the back seat of the car like when we were teenagers. THAT is how powerful makeup is.
Please take this post light heartedly. Do I think that makeup and sex are the same, no. Would I choose one over the other, definitely not. Do I tell men to buy women makeup to get laid, maybe, it isn't going to hurt.
Have fun with both your everyday look, try something new. Be spontaneous. Have fun!
-Caitlin J
ps. I apologize for the cursing.
